Couples
Couples Counselling in Melbourne & Online
The same fight in different clothes. One of you reaches, the other pulls back, and you both end up feeling unheard. Couples counselling here works with the pattern underneath the conflict, not just the argument on the surface.
Couples therapy, couples counselling, relationship counselling and marriage counselling are different names for the same kind of work. I see couples in person in Brunswick, close to Coburg, Fitzroy and Northcote in Melbourne's inner north, and online anywhere in Australia. Online sessions suit couples with busy schedules, young children or long commutes, and the work is the same. You do not need to be married to come to couples counselling.
Who this is for
Couples working through recurring relationship conflict, emotional disconnection, resentment, trust issues, or a loss of intimacy. Some of you are in crisis; others are simply tired of circling the same argument and not knowing how to shift it. Both are welcome here.
You might recognise:
- The same argument on repeat, with nothing ever really resolved
- One of you going quiet, shutting down or walling off when things get hard
- Resentment building because one of you feels they carry more
- Feeling emotionally distant, more like housemates than partners
- More strain since becoming parents
- Trust broken by an affair, a secret or a betrayal, and not knowing if you can come back from it
- Wondering whether the relationship can recover
What to expect
Early on, we look at the dynamic between you: the patterns you fall into, what each of you brings into conflict, and the deeper pressures or old legacies shaping the relationship. Many couples find themselves caught in a demand-withdraw cycle, where one pursues and the other pulls back, and the gap between them quietly widens. Most conflict makes more sense once you can see the pattern underneath it.
From there, we focus on helping you move out of blame, shutdown, and repetition, and toward more honesty, understanding, and repair. The aim is not to decide who is right, but to help you understand what keeps happening between you and build new ways of relating that feel clearer, safer, and more workable.
For more on recurring conflict, read Why Do We Keep Having the Same Fight? or Relationship Conflict: 6 Lessons for Reconnection. You can also read more about how I work.
Areas of particular focus
Alongside general couples work, I have specific training and interest in:
- When one partner is harder to reach. Couples where one partner tends to be more guarded, reluctant about therapy, or carrying more control or entitlement in the dynamic.
- After an affair or betrayal. When trust has been broken, whether through an affair, a secret, or an emotional betrayal. Whether you are hoping to rebuild or still unsure if you can, we slow down enough to make sense of what happened, hold the hurt on both sides, and work out whether and how repair is possible.
- Through pregnancy and early parenthood. Couples navigating the strain of early parenthood: resentment over an unequal load, less time or connection for each other, communication breaking down under sleep deprivation, or postnatal depression and anxiety affecting one or both of you. Often the roles have quietly defaulted along gender lines neither of you chose.
- Relationship therapy for one. When you are ready to work on the relationship and your partner is not there yet, this work can begin one to one (more below).
- Intercultural and bicultural couples. Cultural and family expectations around loyalty, communication style or gender roles often sit underneath the argument you think you are having, and they do not resolve just because someone grew up here. This is informed by my own bicultural experience. Read more on Relational Life Therapy with cross-cultural couples.
Relationship therapy for one
When your partner is not ready
While you are ready to work on the relationship, your partner may feel unsure, shut down, or unwilling to attend therapy. You do not have to carry that uncertainty alone.
Individual relationship-focused sessions can help you understand the cycle you are caught in, change the responses that are within your control, communicate more clearly, and get clear on what you need next. This is not couples therapy with one person missing, and it is not about persuading or diagnosing your partner. It is a space to strengthen your own clarity, boundaries and choices.
If your partner later becomes open to meeting together, we can talk about whether joint sessions are the right next step.
What you gain
Over time, many couples find they can understand the pattern between them more quickly, have less reactive conflict, and recover from disconnection with more honesty and less blame. The work can help you feel more like a team again, with greater clarity, better repair, and a relationship that feels more supportive to live inside.
How I work with couples: Relational Life Therapy
My couples work is grounded in Relational Life Therapy (RLT), a practical and direct approach developed by family therapist Terry Real. It helps couples see the cycle they are caught in, understand what drives it for each person, and practise a different response. I have completed RLT Level 1 and am currently completing Level 2 of the full RLT therapist certification.
Learn more about Relational Life Therapy →Not sure where you are stuck?
The Relationship Grid is a short self-reflection that can help you notice how you and your partner tend to respond under stress.
Take the Relationship Grid →