Relational Systems Therapy
Relationship Grid Assessment
A brief self-assessment informed by the Relational Life Therapy (RLT) framework — a simple yet incredibly insightful online quiz that maps how you show up in your relationships during heated conflict.
Not currently in a relationship? You can still take the assessment to reflect on patterns from past relationships and build more relational awareness.
What is the Relational Grid?
The Relational Grid maps two things that shape almost every relationship: your Self-Esteem (how sure you feel of your own worth) and your Boundaries (how clearly you can say no, and protect your own time, space and decisions). Together they form a simple cross with four quadrants — each one a different default way of reacting under pressure.
Most relationship advice tells you what to do differently. But in the heat of conflict, our logical brain goes offline, and an older, more automatic part of us takes over instead.
Why the Assessment Matters
Most couples get stuck in the same argument for years because their automatic patterns collide in the same loop, again and again.
This assessment helps you spot your own default pattern — not to label you, but to give you something concrete to notice and shift in the moment: pause, recognise the pattern, and choose a steadier response instead of the automatic one.
How it works
- Answer 16 quick questions, on a scale of 1–6
- See where you tend to sit on the grid
- Get your full profile — a clear snapshot of your pattern, your natural strengths, your core blindspot, and how to shift toward the goal of relational health
Are you ready to stop repeating the same fight?
This assessment is intended for self-awareness and reflection. It is not a psychological diagnosis or a fixed description of who you are.